4 A.M. Screensaver

You know those digital calendars that show all your appointments but also rotate through all the fabulous family photos like a screensaver?

Well… this was one of those 4 a.m. mornings.

I walked into the kitchen in the dark, half awake, and the first thing I saw was my granddaughter’s smile glowing back at me from that screen.

Honestly, that’s the best way to start a day.

Little blonde hair.

Green-hazel eyes.

Her tiny two-year-old hands mid-wave like she’s saying, “Hi, KK.”

What is it about grandchildren that hits different than your own kids?  I mean… we’ve done this before. None of this is new. We’ve raised babies. We’ve chased toddlers. We’ve stepped on toys in the middle of the night.

But somehow it feels like starting over in the softest way.  Like getting to see your own kids as littles all over again only this time, you get to stand back and soak it in instead of rushing through it.

It really is the best feeling.  Hearing her little voice around the house singing songs.  Watching her run from room to room.  And suddenly I’m remembering my son running around in a cape, convinced he was Superman.  It all comes back in flashes.

The noise.

The chaos.

The tiny shoes by the door.

The sticky hands.

The way time moved so fast you didn’t even realize it was moving.

And somehow, standing there in the kitchen at 4 a.m. with a glowing photo and a quiet house, it made me forget that I’m going through menopause.

Menopause who?!?!

Funny how something so small can reset everything.

One little smile.

One tiny wave.

One reminder that life keeps changing, but love just keeps layering itself deeper.  Some mornings start with coffee.  Some start with memories.  And some start with your favorite 4 a.m. screensaver reminding you that everything is going to be okay.

And around here…there’s still no crying on Sundays.