Three Outfit Changes and a Tea Party

Some days as a parent sneak up on you and quietly remind you how fast time is moving.

I recently photographed a mother-daughter tea for the second year in a row. And for the second year in a row, my daughter came with me as my assistant for the day.

The room was full of middle school and high school girls sitting beside their moms at beautifully decorated tables. Everything was elegant… delicate tea cups, flowers everywhere, and dresses that looked like they belonged at a Bridgerton tea party.

Which made the process of getting my daughter ready for the event even funnier.

When I first saw what she planned to wear, she had on sweats (or tights… I can’t even remember now), a cut-off T-shirt, and I’m pretty sure the shirt said Miller Lite or beer across the front. Not exactly the outfit you picture walking into a fancy tea party filled with mothers and daughters.

So I told her she needed to change.

Three outfit changes later, we finally landed on something that felt a little more appropriate for tea cups and table linens.

She wasn’t exactly thrilled with me in the moment, but I was still just happy to have her there beside me for the day.

And to be clear, she wasn’t there fixing chairs or adjusting table linens. She had a camera in her hands too. While I was on one side of the room photographing, she was often on the other side capturing moments from a completely different angle, helping me cover the event as my second set of eyes behind the camera.

Watching all the moms and daughters together in that room always makes me pause for a second.

You spend about eighteen years raising them. Driving them everywhere. Teaching them things. Worrying about them. Hoping you’re doing the right things as a mother and doing your best to raise good humans.

And then one day you look up and realize they’re adults.

If you’re lucky, somewhere along the way they become more than just your kids.

They become people you genuinely enjoy spending time with. People you sit on the couch with at night just talking about life. Sometimes it’s serious things. Sometimes it’s absolutely nothing important at all.

And a lot of the time… we’re just sitting there “spilling the tea,” as she likes to say.

Which made standing in a room full of mothers and daughters at a fancy tea party feel a little funny and a little sweet at the same time.

There’s always that fine line you try to balance when they’re growing up… being their mother while also building a relationship that lasts once they’re adults.

Now it feels a little different.

Now it’s both.

And if the best part of raising them is getting to sit on the couch later and spill the tea together… I’d say that’s a pretty good trade.