Holiday Hustle & Missing the Chaos

Lately during the holidays, I’ve been thinking about past holidays—the early marriage days when we’d travel from house to house. You know, when you first get married and suddenly you’re juggling the in-laws’ house, then the grandparents’ house, then the other grandparents’ house… all in one day. Kind of like that movie Four Christmases.

All in one day, without arguing, trying not to forget to breathe, trying to mix in kids and games and nap time and presents and food and smiles.

And in the middle of it, you’re thinking:

“Good grief, this is hectic. How do we do this? Why do we do this? Do we have to do this?”

But you’re not thinking:

“Wow, this is fantastic, and one day we’re going to miss it.”

Well, now that day has come.

I miss it.

I miss the hustle and bustle of going back and forth.

I miss the food, I miss the company, and most importantly… I miss the people who aren’t here today to enjoy what we have.

I was talking to someone recently about how, yes, the holidays can get busy, but I actually miss that chaos. I miss traveling from house to house in one day. I miss the company. I miss all that busyness that used to drive us crazy but also secretly made everything feel full and joyful.

I miss a house full of people.

I miss the crowded kitchen.

I miss overlapping conversations.

I miss my grandparents who aren’t here anymore.

Fortunately, I still have my grandmother, who is 90 and still with us. I get to talk to her daily, and I know not many people get that blessing. I cherish every single moment I get to hear her voice.

So again—while this may not be a Sunday, and I’m definitely not driving, and I may not be crying—this really is just a sentimental journal entry. Just some bubbling thoughts I’ve had lately, actually on a Thursday and a Friday at 4 a.m., creeping into my mind and insisting to be written down.

And if you find yourself here reading this, whether intentionally or maybe you just stumbled upon my little corner of the internet — take time to enjoy the little things. Enjoy your people. Enjoy your family. And most importantly, share those moments with your kids and take lots of pictures. Don’t get caught up in the presents… get caught up in the memories.

There’s no crying on Sundays… but sometimes there’s reminiscing, and that counts too.