A Year In, Still Deciding

A Year In, Still Deciding

Just some April thoughts.

I’ve always loved this month. The weather is just right—it’s spring, not too cold, not too warm. Just that perfect in-between.

What’s the saying… April showers bring May flowers? That sounds right.

It’s been raining here and there, and in true Texas fashion, the weather’s been all over the place—70 one day, 80 the next, and a few days already hitting 90.

But honestly… it’s been kind of perfect anyway.

There’s something about April that just feels lighter.

Like everything is starting over a little bit.

Longer days, more sunshine, people outside again… it just feels different.

And then there are the everyday thoughts… the ones that don’t really go anywhere, but somehow take up space anyway.

We’ve been in this house for a year now, and it feels like we’re just now starting to figure it out.

Planning things. Making lists. A long list.

Landscaping… flowers… bushes… what goes where.

Finally deciding what to put on the walls.

All the little things that turn a house into something that actually feels finished.

And somehow, those are the things that show up at 3 AM.

I’ll wake up and my mind immediately goes there—

what bushes, where do they go, do we hire someone, do we not, do we just do it ourselves?

All the questions. All the options.

And then… somehow my brain takes it a step further.

I’ll look at my husband and say,

“I’m not sure this is our last house. I don’t know if this is our forever home.”

Cue the eye roll.

Because he’s thinking, we are not moving again.

And I get it, I don’t want to move either.

But there’s a small part of me that just thinks… you never know.

It’s funny… we’ve built houses before. We’ve done this.

This isn’t our first rodeo.

And yet, it still feels heavy sometimes.

Not in a bad way… just in a we don’t want to rush it kind of way.

Because this part matters too.

Nothing rushed.

Nothing finished.

Just in progress.